Sunday, 4 November 2012

Sockets, Spaghetti and Shwag

The journey back from the UK in Vera was uneventful, however, we chickened out of going back to the caravan in the dark and booked ourselves into Chez Mary & Alan (Old Bones on Bikes) for a delicious meal, a good shower and a cosy bed.  We ventured back to the site with a little trepidation as the awning had collapsed again under the weight of the rain and although Mary & Alan had righted it some damage had already been done.  There was mould and mildew on surfaces in the awning but the caravan, house and garages were fine and dandy.  Even the mail was kind to us and there were no hidden nasties there. It felt good to be back. 

The LGB can’t wait to get started on the build again and confessed tonight that he has never been happier doing a job than he is doing this one!  Aaahhhh.  Of course, I too have never been happier than I have as a builder’s labourer, except when I was a trolley dolly, or when I worked in a greasy Joe cafĂ©, or the time I worked as a cleaner at Sonning Working Men’s Club (I was fourteen), or when I was at college and lasted two hideous nights in a factory putting Evel Knievel dolls into a box, yes, I’ve never been happier.

My apologies if you had parts missing from your Evel Knievel  box that Christmas but it was a pretty mind numbing job!

It took the neighbours at least two seconds to witness our return to the site!  But I find that very comforting, they have been great guardians for us in our absence.  It took us a lot less time to unload the van than to pack it.  So, here we are our first night back in the caravan and…………it’s raining!  Home, sweet home.

Tons of Work
We collected the chestnut flooring on Friday.  That was a rude awakening having to unload one and a quarter ton of parquet flooring.  It looks nice and I’m glad we chose the wider boards this time.  We have yet to get it upstairs!

Saturday the LGB pottered on his own and I helped a friend move house.  In my absence he put together the frames we have had made for the front door and the picture window in the kitchen/family room.  Sunday, we made a feeble attempt to cut the grass but the mower let us down again.

After two very cold nights in the caravan we were rescued by the Old Bones once again.  Simple things like a hot shower, a nice meal and a log fire become luxuries when you are deprived of them.

Spaghetti Junction
The first fix electrics have begun and the house is a mass of spaghetti wires.  Remember how not so long ago I said we were reclaiming the front ‘garden’?  The LGB has now dug a big trench for the services to be laid.  One step forward, two steps back.  Refilling the trench was hard work and in the process the LGB has put his back out again, so this afternoon he was hanging from the rafters trying to right it.  Not a great start to our return.

Socket To Me!
The electrician is getting impatient and the LGB is getting grumpy because I haven’t given precise positions for the lighting.  I thought the wiring was just going to a junction box and I could decide later – not so!  So, although I have some wall lights I have abandoned installing them in some rooms because I can’t decide where to put them and I don’t want to hold up proceedings.  They can go in the next house.  Did I really just say that, wash my mouth out with soap for uttering such profanities!


The regulations regarding the electrics seem pretty ridiculous to a mere simpleton like me.  For example some bright spark has decided I have to have ten sockets in the living room, TEN! Why would I need ten sockets unless I had a little cottage industry and was heating marijuana plants to supply a small country.  Now there’s a thought!

Watts up? Lighten up man, don't get phased! It's just the first fix!

We are required to have a telephone socket in every room including the bedrooms and television sockets in three rooms.  Methinks the powers that be have got together with the socket manufacturers, and of course the electricians won’t be complaining when they charge the client per socket – win, win all round for them.  You think I am ranting you should hear the LGB!  He’s blown a fuse over the whole business!

We went to the cinema tonight to see Bond ........ James Bond.  The chairs were so comfortable (I am sure they were heated) and it was lovely and warm, I wondered how long we could stay there all cosy and comfortable before someone noticed and evicted us.  Before that we enjoyed fish pie and a hot shower at Suzanne and Kevin’s and now as I type the rain is lashing down and the caravan is rocking and the LGB is snoring.  Happy days.


  1. hi Deb,
    I love reading your blog. You should think of publishing it as a Diy type guide when you've finished.
    Ann xx


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