Sunday, 25 November 2012

A Sh*tty Week

The Queen’s Got A Throne!

I am not giving myself airs and graces or getting above my station when I refer to myself in this regal way, but I consider that I am Queenie of all I survey around and about (within the boundaries of my field).  We all know every man’s/woman’s home is his/her castle.  The throne I refer to is the downstairs lavvy, lovey!  Yes, we now have a fabulous, fully functioning, flushing Thomas Crapper!  Complete with ‘soft close lid’ if you please.  The LGB has been hankering after a ‘soft close lid’.  Not that that will make the men put the seat down!  The latrine is curtained off, but is in full view of anybody working upstairs so for now I will have to keep doing toilet emptying duties in the caravan.

A Word of Warning

On a recent visit to the fabulous, fully functioning, flushing, lovely lavvy with the ‘soft close lid’, I lifted the aforementioned ‘soft close lid’ and turned to make ready use of it.  I can’t have opened it quite enough because as I disrobed and squatted the ‘soft close lid’ had already begun its’ descent to close ……softly.  My ample nether regions met it half way and it was nearly lost forever where the sun don't shine.  It was quite a shock I can tell you.  Perhaps it should come with a health warning or a beep, beep, beep like reversing lights on a lorry.  Baaahhh, 'soft close lid’, my arse!

While the LGB was busy this sunny, yes sunny Sunday afternoon with the loo I was working on the picture window frame we had made by Chris at Perseverance Place Ltd, Richmond, Surrey.  Sanding the frame and  watching The X Factor repeat. Happy, happy!

Monday morning Kevin gave us a hand to get the plaster boards, which were delivered bright and early, up to the first floor.  We then used the hoist (money well spent) to get the chestnut flooring up too.  Two jobs well done.

Late Departure

The weather has been fabulous, although we woke up in the caravan on Sunday about 4 am and it was so cold my Kindle wouldn't even switch on!  It hit 21 degrees in La Rochefoucauld in the week.  We have eaten lunch on the terrace (well I'm calling it a terrace) and enjoyed our coffee breaks there too in t-shirts.  We heard the cranes fly over last night.  This must be the first year we haven’t actually seen them heading South and it seems to be a late departure for them.  Hurry back! 

This week I took a photograph of a rose in bud!  (A little celebration of the glorious weather.)  In complete contrast, and in keeping with the above Thomas Crapper theme, ten minutes later I took a photo of a big pile of pooh/poo/poop, call it what you like. 


More apologies!

The LGB has been fixing a leak for some friends.  What he thought was a simple leak has turned into multiple leaks.  He uncovered some pipes behind the boxing in in the bathroom and we discovered a huge, and I mean colossal pile of pooh!  I thought it may have been a squirrel because we had seen one on the roof, and the nuts in close proximity seemed to confirm this.  However, we asked a French neighbour to identify the excrement for us and he recognised it as ‘fouine’ pooh.  A ‘fouine’ is a stone marten, it actually translates as ‘the long pitchfork’.  La Fouine is also a French rap artist, but I don’t think it is him hiding in the loft!  This fouine is like a weasel. I have heard of a pine marten but not a stone marten. What a well-trained marten to do it’s doings all in the same place in a big pile, and in the bathroom too!  House trained?  Two guesses who will be clearing out that little heap?

Cute!  Courtesy of Wikipedia

Today, Wednesday we began cutting the plaster boards for upstairs.  I think the LGB’s idea is to floor out upstairs thereby freeing up some space downstairs of plaster boards which are taking up a considerable amount of room. 

Tonight the LGB is  happed up warm and cosy watching the England match.  I know tomorrow I will be in for a treat.  He will have verbal diarrhoea (there we go again, enough of the pooh theme), and chat on for an age about the football, managers and players like I am some football crazed geezer!  I quite like the fact that he feels I am worth talking ‘footy’ with but see it rather that he is starved of male company.

Living in the lap of luxury!

Sunday evening we had almost finished plaster boarding the exterior walls and had all the pieces cut ready for the LGB to finish this morning.  It is really making the shell look like a house now.  I was sawing away thinking about where to position the beds and wardrobes and what colour to have each room!

Friends came to see progress today and afterwards we ate lunch at the local golf course. It was nice seeing you all and thank you Brenda for the lovely treat, you can come and see us as often as you like!

Thank you for all your comments.  I was thrilled to get one from Becca at this week.


  1. Rooooh, a soft closing lid... That's a gentle tactic. I want one that closes automatically and chops off any appendages within seconds of the loo seat being abandoned in a vertical postion; a kind of castratory DIY warning for boys who forget to put things back the way they found them..... Insert evil laugh *here*

    1. Home Wasnt Built In A Day25 May 2013 at 21:17

      Blimey! If your boys read this they will NEVER leave the seat up again.In fact they are probably thumbing through the catheter bag catalogue as we speak :)


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