'Twas A Week Before Christmas ..........

As usual I am a little behind, so what's new in my world.  So humour me just for a few minutes and pretend Christmas hasn't happened yet.

A few of weeks ago we had our own little Rosetta moment. Okay, not on the scale of landing on a comet but our own little momentous moment nonetheless. All along the build there have been little milestones, little hurdles to overcome, stages that have played on my mind at least, if not on the mind of the LGB.

We successfully laid all the pipes for the underfloor heating. Miles of it.  Well, eventually it was a success. We fought with the pipe as it snaked itself into a tangle time and again and then fought with each other and after one little punch up  sent each other to Coventry for an afternoon.

A spaghetti of pipework

The next big stage was screeding the whole ground floor. Our helpers, three old age pensioners arrived at the arranged time. You can always rely on "Rent A Wrinkly" to put in a good days work for a cup of tea and a slice of soft cake that won't play havoc with their dentures. However, what you can't rely on is your delivery arriving at the arranged time. A phone call informed me that because of a problem with le chauffeur we could expect our delivery 45 minutes to an hour late. However, when he arrived le chauffeur who has delivered to us before was delightful.

Let the hard work commence

It was hard work but by Friday evening I was overjoyed, the LGB was overjoyed and knackered and had horrible cement burns on his knees. We uncorked a celebratory bottle of Pomerol. Now the floor must be left to cure for three months after which time we can lay the flooring. However we had my Dad, Sister and nephew coming for Christmas so we had to make the house comfortable and put in place some improved cooking facilities than we had the previous year.

Dad's room the day before his arrival.  No pressure!

Less than 2 weeks before the arrival of the Christmas guests!

Twas a week before Christmas when all through the house,
Not a bedstead was standing from which guests could rouse.
The curtains were nailed up at the windows with care
A gesture of comfort for guests sleeping there.
We hunted all corners in search of the beds
Tore open boxes and found pillows for heads.
The LGB was plastering and hanging up doors
Whilst I with my paintbrush was varnishing floors.
We cobbled together a kitchen with sink
Brought in tables and chairs and two sofas of pink.
(They are red actually, but it didn't rhyme!)
We laid down some rugs on the concrete floor,
I varnished the work tops, then varnished some more.
Good will to all men was beginning to wane,
The LGB was shouting and calling my name,
"Oi, Deborah, get a dance on!" "On Chancer" "On Vixen!"
"Oh come on!" "What Stupid? Folks are coming, get a blitz on!"
I hung fairy lights and a picture or three,
Searched out some baubles and my eighteen inch tree.
The effort's been made, the LGB's poured us some wine
Now all we can hope is to have a good time.
Sit down on the sofa and turn off the light,
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.


"Have you put the cat out?"
"We haven't got a cat!"

All's well that ends well.
We managed to cobble together a comfortable, warm and cosy room for Christmas.
:)

Is There Anybody There?

Hello............. Hello............is there anybody there?  Remember us?  Long time no see.

I forgot all my blog details and passwords and have had the devil's own job trying to get back here!

And so.............
The wanderers have returned. To say we wandered isn't quite true, we actually stayed with my Dad. We were in the UK for what seems like an eternity.

The New Year did not start well with the news that Big C, the LGB's bigger, younger brother had the Big C. The decision was quickly made to return to England to help finish a loft extension and act as chauffeur for hospital visits.  Little did we know we would also be accompanying Dad for scans and later three operations.


                                                                
We know Chelsea, Brixton and Tooting intimately now. In our work clothes we window shopped at Harrods and wondered if we would be allowed past the door men in their smart uniforms, us in our scruffy garbs. To his credit one did wish us a good afternoon but seconds later as we passed a Bentley with cream leather interior we noticed the waiting driver lock the doors. Don't judge a book by its' cover Sir! Minutes later we saw two well dressed gents stealing from Boots. Like I said, books and covers.

Brixton is vibrant and a bustling melting pot of ethnicity.

Big C is doing well eight months on and is thankfully clear of cancer. Dad is awaiting another op which may precipitate my return at some point. We are mightily glad to be back.  The garden is not going to win any medals at the Chelsea Flower Show this year.  Having said that we are hugely grateful to our lovely friends who once again came to our rescue checking the house, forwarding mail and strimming the field.  We came back to flowers, champagne, home grown goodies and lovely meals (we must go away more often!).


Everything mechanical had seized up; the car, both sit on mowers, the digger, whacker and cement mixer to name a few. A mouse had made a nest in the engine of the mixer and invited a few snails to squat too.  The LGB has had his mechanic's hat on and to his credit has everything up and running again. It has been a long slog getting on top of things but we are getting there.

The summer visitors have gone, a job to do for clients and then time to knuckle down and work on the house again. That's not to say we have been completely idle. The LGB has almost finished the fireplace, we need to choose tiles for the hearth.  A damned fine job he has made if it too, although it irks me to say it as there was a minor domestic when I was not allowed to help in the construction. I said he could have all the credit for it, but no, I was banished to floor sanding!  It is a beautiful feature in the room and my floor sanding was bloody good too!

Lunch for 14 and picnic area for the children. A glimpse of the fireplace.

Deborah free zone!

We were treated to a play from the picnicers, looking like the Von Trap family.

We have laid all the insulation on the ground floor in preparation for the pipes for underfloor heating. Installing the heating is the biggest job left to do and a little daunting for me but as usual we will overcome. Still, no pressure, we only have three guests coming for Christmas. Remember last year? In fact my last post was about cooking Christmas lunch on a camping gas ring and a one temperature cooks all cooker.  Déjà vu.  Sorry to mention Christmas in September.

The Boy graduated in July and has found a job.   How proud are we?  Peacocks come to mind.

That brings you quickly up to date and I will endeavour to write on a more regular basis from now on. Famous last words. A bientôt.

Tis the Season

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Hey!  I said not even a mouse! A critter behind the wall is disturbing my Christmas Eve tradition of present wrapping whilst guzzling sipping wine. The creature is making so much noise I am fearful we will soon have no insulation left. This may be the season of goodwill to all men but that does not include mice and if they think my sofas are on their Christmas menu, think again. Meanwhile The LGB is wallowing in the long awaited bath complete with bubble bath, candles and wine whilst morphing into a prune. (Yes, we have a functioning bathroom and even builders can be in touch with their feminine side! I could be in big trouble now.)  I hope he is out by Boxing Day because we are spending the day with Old Bones on Bikes.  The rain is lashing at the window pane and the wind is howling a gale.

Bah Humbug!

We have a table and chairs set up in the upstairs makeshift living room. Christmas morning I headed upstairs with our traditional breakfast of Buck’s Fizz and scrambled eggs with smoked salmon on toast. I'm no Nigella, but I make a mean scrambled eggs.  These however looked watery. I had poured hot water on the plates to warm them and forgot to pour it off before serving up! Scrambled eggs on soggy toast!  

Bah Humbug!

Where else would you want to spend Christmas?

After a luxuriant shower (did I mention we have a bathroom now?) we made a little effort and dressed up in something other than work clothes. On Christmas day traditionally we go for a long walk but the pouring rain scuppered our promenade this year.  More Buck’s Fizz it is then.

Bah Humbug!

The starter was king prawn and lobster cocktail. I bought frozen lobster. I could not have dealt with the demise of a live one on Christmas day (but that bloody mouse better stay out of my way). I've never cooked lobster but there was no problem there, plonked it in hot water and hey presto.  The LGB then took a hammer to it. He asked if I wanted to dress it. What! I'd managed to pick out a few smart clothes for myself, the least dusty ensemble I could find but I certainly wasn't going to start thinking about dressing a lobster.  Apart from assuming they would look good in a contrasting shade of orange or green for a chrismassy look I really wouldn't know where to start.

Bah Humbug!

The next stumbling block was how I would cook a sumptuous meal for two on a one ring camping gas burner, a gas oven with no temperature control and one saucepan. The gas burner is fed by a hairspray size canister which unfortunately has a habit of catching fire.  Subsequently I have to stay within view with my pompier hat on, ready to flick the safety switch off before the thing explodes and ruins all the LGB's hard work. Watching a saucepan of potatoes cooking is neither convenient nor stimulating.  Everyone knows a watched kettle never boils. The gas oven is a one heat setting burns cooks all.  The control knob just turns round and round. The LGB says if it’s brown it’s cooked and if it’s black it’s ******! You get the picture.

Bah Humbug!

All mod cons here

Self combusting gas ring

The LGB decided to throw another spanner in the works and make my task a little more difficult by doing a little plumbing on the only day of the year we are meant to do no work and placed a step ladder in the middle of our makeshift kitchen! With my lonesome saucepan and the limited cooking facilities and a little jig around the ladder I did manage to produce an edible spread fit for human consumption. The LGB thoroughly enjoyed his festive feast.

Ah big hug!

The beautifully decorated shop fronts.

Strasbourg Markets

Before Christmas we enjoyed a few days in Strasbourg with friends.  It was well worth the nine hour plus drive to get there.  It has been a crowd puller for hundreds of years.  We stayed in Maison Rouge a great hotel situated in the heart of the city. We were a stone’s throw from the main square Place Kleber that housed the biggest Christmas tree I have ever seen and an amazing light and music show across the façade of a building.

The historic centre is an island circled by the river which was our circuit for the first day.  La Petite France was my favourite area. It was full of fairytale character and teeming with old higgledy piggledy timber framed buildings.  Artists sat in the streets peddling their wares whilst painting.  The LGB bought me a very pretty watercolour from a lovely man. The second day we wended our way up and down every street possible and viewed the beautiful Gothic Cathedral. The third day we took a train to nearby Colmar another wonderfully historic town with more fabulous Christmas markets. We came across more artisan stalls there with beautiful handmade pieces. Well worth the visit.

The evenings were magical when the stalls were illuminated. The smell of mulled wine, gingerbread men and bretzels wafted through the chill air. Many of the shop fronts are elaborately decorated with huge efforts made to outdo one another. I have never taken so many photos in one place.  It was a great kick start to Christmas.  

Building update

Family bathroom up and running. Tiling to finish.

Plumbing for bathrooms completed.

Unit for family bathroom sanded and painted.

Kitchen ceiling plastered.

Angouleme stone to finish fireplace ordered and collected.

Logs stacked.

More details to follow.

By now Christmas will be over, but I hope you have all had a wonderful time. I wish you health and happiness and all that your little hearts desire for 2014. Thank you for popping by the blog and for your comments on the blog, facebook or by email. Each one is much appreciated. xx

Did I mention we have a bathroom now?

It's Rained, He's Plastered and I'm Annie Sloaned.

Summer arrived!  There was no forewarning.  Spring didn’t stroll along with us, holding our hands and lead us sedately into summer.  There were no little teasers for the heat to come. There was no mellow preamble, just wham bam here I am. The heat was intense with no let up.  However, those sizzling days of summer now seem a distant memory.  The cranes are departing to warmer climes shouting their goodbyes as they fly overhead.  Since the last post basically it has rained every day which meant the LGB couldn't do what he planned to do so he's plastered every day.  Let me rephrase that because that doesn't show the LGB in a very good light. The LGB has plastered every day, not the LGB is plastered every day, although I am sure he would not turn down the opportunity to get plastered any time soon.

A couple of boring little photos of plastering in progress.

He was coming along swimmingly with the fireplace and chimney in the kitchen/family room when Sod’s Law came a-calling.  No sooner had he opened up the roof and begun building the chimney than the rain arrived and he had to cover it all up.  Do you know the Charente is meant to be the second sunniest department in France?  Well someone tell the Big Man because you could have fooled me.  I have hardly been further than the post box for days.  It is during these days of relentless rain I miss having a shopping mall close by just to escape the weather and enjoy a mooch in the dry.  Then to rub salt into the wound we had a flurry of snow …….in November!

A tasty tease of the fireplace coming along nicely or so the photo would have you believe.  We are out of the picture having a domestic about how we are going to get the heavy lintel into position. More about the fireplace to follow.

But every cloud has a silver lining and the rain has meant we have just knuckled down to working indoors.  The bathroom floor has had a fourth coat of varnish.  The LGB has worked like a Trojan from morning until late and has now plastered every ceiling and wall upstairs.  What a difference it makes!  My next job is to paint the rooms.  White to start, until I decide on colours or wallpaper!  Sales of paint brushes will go through the roof.  I’m still not washing the brushes!

Whilst the LGB has worked his little socks off my days are much easier. I have been varnishing doors and I have spent many hours sanding down a unit for the family bathroom. It would have been easier to head to everybody’s favourite Swedish shop for a new one. Why do I do it? I seem to be under the delusion that I was put on this earth to rescue things that other people have made redundant and save them from the scrapheap. One person’s junk is my piece of well-made furniture at a fraction of the cost of a new piece (unless you go to the Swedish shop).  This one has dovetail and mortice and tenon joints. (I wrote that like I really know what I'm talking about, didn't I?) Other bits I have bought have place names and surnames pencilled on them, maybe the maker or the client’s name? I do wonder at the history of my bits of junk, who owned them, where they were housed. Hence the garage is full of pieces of furniture waiting to be spruced up.

Doors mid varnish

Bathroom unit before I started work on it

When I was back in the UK I partook of an Annie Sloan furniture painting afternoon at Marilyn & Melrose in Alnwick, Northumberland. Annie Sloan developed paint that you can use on almost anything even fabric covered furniture and shoes!! If you don't believe me have a look wriggle test here! The afternoon was enjoyable if a little pricey at £65, but we did get a delicious slice of cake and coffee.  The LGB says if he stands still too long he is fearful of being Annie Sloaned!  That could become a bit of cockney rhyming slang ‘Cor blimey, he was Annie Sloaned last night!’

Now we are enjoying a little break in Strasbourg at the Christmas Markets. Hopefully some time in the not too distant future I will post about it.

My Knight in Shining Lycra

Running Hummock

Oh ye of little faith.  I did it – I completed the pledge.  In fact for good measure I did 34 days of continuous cycling. Through wind and rain I was there battling the elements.  I have to admit I didn’t cover any great distances on these knolls and hummocks, in fact one evening after a late finish I cycled a few times around our field!  Did I enjoy it?  I cannot tell a lie – no!  The hills were alive with the sounds of me groaning. I am not sure what was most difficult; the hills or keeping my face resembling something that looked vaguely human. Every time a car passed I tried to relax my face and look like I was really enjoying the torture.

The LGB tells me I pull very strange faces when I am merely putting on my mascara.  Can you imagine what my boat race resembles when I am schlepping up an excruciating gradient?  I have the agonised look of someone sitting in a dentist’s chair having her wisdom teeth extracted through her backside. I would win any gurning contest hands down.

Trying hard to look normal on those hills.
photo courtest of metro.co.uk

We have just returned from the UK where I persuaded the LGB to come for a little gander on the bikes with me. The day before he had purchased a new Trek bicycle and was keen to try it out. It was lovely being back on the country lanes with the odd gentle incline. The bridge over the ford is only a couple of feet wide and I have to admit the first few times I gingerly teetered across it, gradually building up confidence and speed. On this occasion with me leading the way and the LGB following up the rear, I admit it to you dear readers, I was showing off as I scooted across the bridge with confident rapidity. Suddenly I heard a clatter and the air clouded with the expletives emanating from the mouth of the LGB.  He was hanging over one side of the bridge and the new bike was hanging the other side of the bridge.

Site of catastrophe!

Unfortunately, I am not good in times of crisis. Nerves take over and the giggles kick in. It took a while for him to extricate the bike from the grips of the bridge rails. His wheel was all skew-whiff and the bike scratched and unrideable. (Is that a real word?)  As luck would have it a knight in shining lycra pulled up, offered assistance, straightened out the LGB’s wheel and we carried on our merry way with the LGB commenting that at least his bike didn't look brand new any more! It’s at times like this one feels a bit of a silly billy wearing a padded gusset, a cycling helmet and sitting on a good make of bicycle with not an inkling what to do with a wonky wheel. We carried on, the LGB nursing a grazed arm and knee and enjoyed an 18.5 km ride.

Some building news, because after all this is a blog about our house build.

I bought a selection of sample paints last time we were in the UK, painted pieces of wood and finally made a decision on a colour for the kitchen units.  You will know by now the deliberations I have gone through to arrive at my chosen paint colours. I chose Poetic Justice and Fog. The colours proved to be aptly named because by an ironic twist of fate I was left in a fog when I sauntered up to the paint counter with my paint order to be told they have discontinued the colours. Back to the drawing board, or colour chart!

I have made a decision for the flooring! Yes really. Travertine stone in random sizes. Quick put the order in before I change my mind.  I chose the accent tiles for the en suite too!  I’m getting good at making decisions.

The LGB has plastered another bedroom.  The French tend to just dry line their walls but the LGB likes to give himself a little extra work and has decided to plaster every ceiling and wall!  It’s a nicer finish, so I am not complaining.  I am actually full of awe and admiration that he can get the walls so smooth when he can’t even pull the bed covers straight. I might get him to ice the Christmas cake.

Before

After

The stone fireplace is well under way. I have painted a couple more windows and a headboard for my niece. We have finished insulating the loft. 

At this point I would add a few photos but the ones I downloaded yesterday seem to have disappeared! Another blonde moment. I really will try to keep the blog more up to date.  Thank you to all of you who continue to comment and sorry I don't always reply but you know the situation.  I will just have to spend more time in McD or Quick Burger!

Pledges, Wedges, Sludge and Suds

The Pledge

I’ve done it I’ve taken the pledge! I’m not talking furniture polish here of the Mr Sheen variety.  I have no need of polish in my present circumstances but I am looking forward to the day when I will need to dust the furniture, for a week at least. And no, I haven’t pledged to abstain from consuming alcohol.  Given up drink, heavens no.  I have taken the pledge to cycle for thirty days.  Not continuously you understand and no specific distances stipulated, I just have to go for a ride every day for thirty days.  I may live to regret the decision and that is all I have to say on the matter for now.  I found the pledge at 30 Days of Biking.

Who Said Romance is Dead

Now my man is not the most romantic homo sapien, any mention of St Valentine’s Day and he goes all ‘bah humbug’ on me.  I have had one bunch of flowers from him when he came home from the pub at closing time but I think my brother knew the florist and she was selling them off cheap. 

Courtesy of Toon Pool http://www.toonpool.com

He buys chocolate quite often but for his own consumption and usually of the dark variety which I don’t care for. Lucky for him I’m a cheap date; I’m not a big drinker as I am always the driver, I don’t hanker after all the latest fashions, have no desire for a flash car (although I wouldn’t send a Mercedes Sport back if he bought me one) and I don’t have regular manicures, pedicures or hair dos (some think I should).  However, I must admit I’m no Liz Taylor but I have always had a desire for a huge ‘eff off’ solitaire diamond, but I’m not holding my breath for that.

He has however excelled himself in my books; he’s plumbed in my washing machine! What more could a gal want. No more visits to the launderette.  No more will I have to share a machine with a hairy arsed trucker who puts his flip flops and dog blankets in with their smalls.  Said machine is temporarily located in the downstairs loo.  I can sit on the throne complete with soft close lid and fill the machine in comfort.  The only downside is my drum will only fit about 5 kilos whereas the launderette had the 18 kilo machines.  Still, it’s a small price to pay.  Who says romance is dead!

Septic Tanks and Stink Pipes

We are not hooked up to mains sewerage here.  This means we have had to install a septic tank or fosse septique.  This requires a 4000 litre concrete tank that catches our pooh, pee and waste water.  The pooh settles at the bottom of the tank (the sludge layer) and the liquid goes through pipes to a 30 square metre filter bed and finally down a 20 metre pipe. A very nice lad from SPANC has been out to inspect and passed it.  We just have the 20 metre trench, a grease trap and a stink pipe to complete the process and be awarded our certificate which will take pride of place on the wall next to my 10 metre Swimming Certificate and the LGB’s City and Guilds Building Certificate.  The stink pipe has to pass through the roof and beyond the roof ridge line.  It does what it says on the tin and carries the smelly gases and thus the stink and throws it out through the roof pipe to be wafted away by a passing breeze and blown through someone else’s open window and in turn we get someone’s smells floating through our window.  There’s lovely.

I continue to paint as and when I am not needed by the LGB (the windows that is not amazing masterpieces).  I am looking for flooring for the ground floor.  Of course everything I like is hugely expensive so a compromise has to be reached.  The LGB wants to start the fireplace before the bad weather sets in so that we can get a wood burner up and running that means thinking of a design and ordering stone.  I am all for that, I don't fancy showering in 1.5 degrees again this year. Decisions, decisions.

Wash Day Blues

Hey boys, do you think I could renew my membership with you at the Wash Day Blues Club.  It’s just that after the LGB kindly plumbed in my washing machine I discovered the drive belt has gone on it and the drum won’t go round!  Would that be okay then? No, no ‘hairy arsed’ is an English term of endearment we endow on hard working macho truckers. Yes, really.  In fact I have my own hairy arsed builder at home.  So when you’ve finished washing your sweaty vests and y-fronts can I use that machine!

We Are Still Here!

A La Carte

Most visitors arrive with a little offering; a bottle of wine, groceries for the duration of their stay or a bunch of flowers. This lot - nothing, not even a morcel of cheese.  Nevertheless, they ascended upon us, treated us like a five star restaurant, ate their fill and caused irreparable damage.

'What do you fancy from the menu Minnie?'
'Oh Mickey you spoil me. I think I’ll have the stuffed sofa seat cushion. What about you?'
'I’m going for the cushion back with stuffing and as a special treat let’s share a little cushion piping shall we?'

War has been declared!  We shall fight them on the settees.  We shall fight them on the sofas.  We shall banish the mouse from the house.

More unwelcome visitors. The mice among the clothes was bad enough now we have found the little sods have been squatting in the sofas we have stored in the house and munched through two sofa cushions and worse still through the covers too.  My fault entirely, I should have removed the covers as I have done with the other sofas. Do you think patchwork settees can ever catch on?

A delicious helping of stuffed cushion

Bienvenue

Back to the building work.  Come on in.  Wipe your feet – on second thoughts wipe them on your way out!  Let me show you around.  It’s been a long time since we were all on site.

 

Since we arrived back from the UK the LGB has built a temporary staircase.  At the time I wondered why he was expending his time and energy building something that would later be pulled down; however, it really has made life so much easier than climbing a ladder. 

Dolby surround sound cinerma screen

We have put the picture window in the kitchen/diner.  The mountain of earth has been moved and we have a view down the garden. We sit in our reclining garden chairs like Derby and Jone in an old folks home.  It is like having our own little cinema screen, but the only action is when the wind blows and the trees sway a little or a deer wanders through the garden, but pleasing to us! The front door is in and I am chuffed to bits with that. 

I Can Sing A Rainbow

I have actually made a decision about the colour for the windows, yes really.  It is a lovely shade of snotty green. Actually, I don't know the name of the paint colour, probably something like rolling stone moss.  They always have marvellous names for paint colours don't they; watermelon pink, clotted cream, driftwood grey. Sometimes we would never guess what the colour may be.  The career's adviser never told me I could have a job naming paints.  I'd be a little more real so you would really know what colour you were getting; shitty brown, gloomy day grey, varicose vein blue, yellow jaundice, pasty face pink.  I'm liking this, I could go on and on. Anyway, I have chosen snotty green and I am quite happy with it – this week!  So the picture window and the front door frame have been painted. I’m even washing the brushes!

 

The LGB has plastered the family bathroom.  We have made great progress with the insulation and plaster boarding the ceiling and the walls.  What a difference!  It really is all coming together.  The electrician is getting us all wired up before we get cut off again.

We have had many visitors not including the rodents and I will write about that soon. They had all been forewarned.  People holiday abroad and complain because there are building sites next to their hotels, but we actually have friends and family coming fully aware they are staying on a building site!  No refunds or compensation will be given! Amazingly, everybody so far has enjoyed their stay.  The pee bucket, concrete floors, make shift shower, downstairs toilet with no door (there is a curtain for some privacy) is putting nobody off.

A rather rushed and disjointed post I’m afraid, my apologies.