White Van Man, Slinkies and Baked Beans

I thought I was going to have to be dragged kicking and screaming away from the cosy comfort of Dad’s log burner and thrust bodily into the Euro tunnel to return to France.  I’m not sure who would have done the dragging and shoving though because Dad was trying to persuade us to stay until Christmas and Brendan only had the use of one hand.  Don’t worry, it was nothing nasty.  The other hand was attached to Dad’s remote control in a firm, take it from me if you dare, kind of way as he flicked through teletext.  Teletext is his little obsession.  He will peruse any scores, fixtures, news or gossip about any sport with a ball and any sport without a ball for that matter.  Even if I am watching a programme that I have followed religiously for six hundred episodes and it is reaching its final climatic end if the mood comes over him he will read teletext and leave me with a tiny picture in the corner!  Rant over!  Here is a little synopsis of our trip to the UK.

Sunday 7th

I am actually beginning to have palpitations wondering how we are going to get our purchases back to France.  As is the norm, my poor Dad’s house turns into a warehouse whenever we come back to England.  The bedroom we stay in is compact at best but the space shrinks in size as each day passes and going to bed becomes a dangerous assault course.  At any moment during the night we could be crushed by tins of baked beans or suffocated in an avalanche of Dorset cereals.

When we return to France the LGB always says we won’t get all the ‘shopping’ in the car, but I always do!  This time I must concede that he is right (oooohhhh that hurt!) we definitely won’t get the ‘shopping’ in the car.  It looks like we are going to have to hire an artic! Now you must excuse me but I have a few bids to place on eBay! In for a penny, in for a pound.

Sunday 14th

That’s it!  I’m all shopped out now.  I enjoy a city fix and a spot of shopping but the LGB can leave me standing.  In fact I am often left standing outside shops waiting for him with all the long suffering chaps waiting for their other halves.  He is the only man I know who can spend a couple of hours in the biscuit aisle, he loves food shopping.  Kitchen shops – he loves them; pots, pans, potato peelers, oven dishes, oven gloves, glasses, you name it he loves it.  B & Q is his drug of choice.  He has to have a regular fix when we are here.  He is like a kid in a toy shop in a DIY store.  He relishes it all the more here because he can converse with every Tom, Dick or Harry.  Actually because Reading is now so wonderfully multicultural it is every Tomski, Dick or Ali. The Southerners have a bit of a problem with his accent, but he’s in his element North of the Watford Gap.

Monday 15th

It is beginning to feel like we are spending monopoly money.  We paid the deposit for the geothermal heating system at Ice Energy , had the car serviced, bought four new tyres, doors, white goods, did I mention two sofas?  I am beginning to sound like the Generation Game conveyor belt; I just need to squeeze in a toaster and a cuddly toy.  Oh, nearly forgot………… we've bought a Volks Wagon van!  Renting a van from France was going to cost over one thousand euros and they imposed so many scary if, buts, maybes and excesses that we would have been terrified to drive the van from their forecourt. Brendan priced up a local company and just half our goods would cost £1,000 to get back to France.  So, welcome Vera the Volks Wagon to our fleet of vehicles.  Have van, will fill it!

Vera's Void waiting to be filled

Friday 19th

Today we had our ‘training day’ with Ice Energy.  We spent the morning with Mike, the engineer, who talked us through things and answered our questions.  We collected the pipes that will be buried in the garden, the under floor pipes, manifolds, joints and all the other paraphernalia that will hopefully keep us warm and cosy. I was rather alarmed that it was piled on two pallets!  (I had suggested to the LGB that as we had managed to fit two ovens in the Laguna we would easily fit the Ice Energy kit in.  Deborah, sometimes you are sooooooooooooo naïve (stupid!).  Have van, have filled it!

Sofa?
Check.
Doors?
Check.
Baked Beans?
Check.

We have to take the baked beans off to fit the other sofa on.
The beans stay!!

We spent nigh on a day and a half filling the van with our goodies.  One of the sofas had to be taken off to fit in the important stuff.  We have left my poor Dad with an extra HUGE sofa in his lounge and a little less paint on his door frames!

Thanks to Sue, Kevin, Mary and Alan who have been keeping an eye on the site in our absence and rebuilding the awning each time it has collapsed in the wind and rain.  We understand our French neighbours have also been over helping and recovering our logs.  Lovely people one and all.  :)

                                            

Hopefully our Slinky Ground Loop will look a little like this.

We've Downed Tools.

You may have gathered by now that there is not much happening on site. The windows and French doors have been hung, another little milestone reached.  The front door opening and picture window in the kitchen have been closed up whilst the frames are being made.  Little by little we are getting there.  I think the next big job will be laying the flooring upstairs and doing the room partitions.  That will be followed by the electrics; another dilemma, where to put the sockets and how many, shall we have wall lights, ceiling lights or both?  

We have been busy looking for interior doors, door frames, paint and other bits. We have had another meeting with Ice Energy to discuss the option of geothermal underfloor heating.  I have bought some paint.  Yes, you read it correctly, but don't get too excited they are just sample pots from Farrrow and Ball and some Annie Sloan chalk paint and wax to 'shabby chic' some of the furniture.  At huge cost I have purchased an Annie Sloan paint brush!!   I thought the LGB was going to have a coronary when I paid over £18 for it.  I will prove him wrong and keep it in pristine condition!  I am breaking into a panicky sweat at the thought of that commitment! 

I managed to choose a colour for the furniture to play around with from Marilyn and Melrose.  I am still deliberating over the colour for the windows.

I met lovely Denny at Lorden Design and got lots of inspiration from her new shop.  I would have loved a few pieces from her but we had to take Jack and his baggage back to university, so no room in the car.

Did I mention we had bought a couple of ovens and a hob?  I would never have believed  you could fit  them into the boot of a Renault Laguna!

                                 

Help!

It's a worry!  I am forever looking for my glasses for painting and reading and they are usually on my head, sometimes two pairs.  I hunted high and low for my shoes in the week and I was wearing them.  My friend told me I had lost an earring, but I had put two in one ear.  It's a worry!

The guttering is on on the main house, just the downpipes to be fitted, but the single storey has yet to be done.  The roofs are now finished apart from the pointing.  The plaster boards were delivered, all 119 of them.  The driver wished us ‘bon courage’ and we duly carried them into the house.  Usually where plaster boards are involved a little conflict ensues.  Not this time because, according to the LGB, I listened and did as I was told!!!!  Oh, I play the little woman role so well…………… must stop biting my tongue because it is really, REALLY starting to hurt!  I must concede, it did go well, but they have yet to be transported to the upper floor. Pass the boxing gloves and the gum shield.

The plaster boards make a useful 'table' for the paint workshop

Today the LGB painted a couple of frames as I had an appointment with a nasty radiographer, but that is another storey.  ‘I knew I would end up painting some of them’ says he.  ‘It’s not a crime, is it?’ says I.  Give the man a knighthood for deigning to pick up a paint brush!

Before commencing the painting the LGB did a little stock count.  One of his posh brushes was missing and two of my less posh ones.  Had I realised he was going to help I could have covered my tracks somehow.  However, he ranted and raved about me and paint brushes for two minutes then carried on.  I have actually been using the same two brushes for all the windows and I can’t recall what has happened to the ‘missing’  brushes.  So my darling man you must get over it, they are just paint brushes.  You can moan and nag all you like – I am not going to become Saint Deborah the patron saint of paint brush cleaning.  There is actually a patron saint of painters, St Luke.  Although he is more likely to be looking out for the likes of Zeng Fanzhi or Peter Doig than your common or garden painter and decorator.

 

The couple we bought the land from stopped by on Saturday.  After the ‘tour’ Jean Claude said we had a water source in the field.  We had thought we must have as the neighbours have a well, but we were delighted to have it confirmed.  He said it was not deep and a ‘sourcier’ would find it for us with a pendulum or a divining rod (baguette).  Later the lad two houses down dropped in.  I thought being of the younger generation and working as a computer whizz he would pooh-pooh the ‘sourcier’ bit.  Not at all, he said it really did work.  I said the LGB had his own method of dowsing; let daisy the digger loose!  Just another little project when we find ourselves twiddling our thumbs.

No day of rest this Sunday.  We stayed with the Old Bones on Saturday night to partake of our weekly ablutions and imbibe a tasty repast.  The LGB and Alan enjoyed steaks the size of fireside rugs.  This brings to mind the LGB ordering a steak in a restaurant.  The LGB likes his steak rare – saignant so when the waiter asked how he would like it cooked he replied ‘mignon’.  An easy mistake!  Mignon and saignant sound almost the same except for the M and S of course.  Well they sound almost the same to us but probably not to the French.  The waiter looked quite bemused, not sure whether Brendan was saying he was cute or asking for a cute steak!  So Sunday was spent…………….. you’ve guessed it, painting windows.

I started back at choir on Monday.  We started a new song ‘Help’ by the Beatles.  I was asked to read the lyrics aloud which merited a round of applause at the end.  Oh that my French would get the same response!  I flit between singing soprano and mezzo.  I opted for soprano for ‘Help’, but came away with a sore throat.  My voice seems to be getting deeper.  I think my working environment might be a cause?  I suppose you don’t get many soprano builders’ labourers do you.  Crikey, I hope a pair of b*ll*cks doesn’t drop any time soon.

Gutters, Bad Bargains and Septic Tanks

We actually used last Sunday as a day of rest.  The LGB took it to the extreme and didn’t actually vacate his pit until nigh on midday!  His excuse was Dr Crochet had told him to rest his back (I didn’t begrudge him his lie in as he works hard and doesn’t often lie in).  I on the other hand was mooching around the vide grenier in Vitrac St Vincent about 8.30, munching viennoiseries with coffee.

Thought he might look good on the dining room wall, but nobody likes a bore at a dinner party do they?

 

It’s a lovely little village, and there was a good turn-out for the car boot sale.  I was, however, sad to see that the little bar was up for sale and the proprietor was selling off his chattels.  We have seen so many small local bars close in our time here.  I am not sure of the reason for the closures, but it is sad to see them go.

The patron selling off the contents of the bar at Vitrac

The LGB wasn’t there to keep me in check, so I spent more than usual and came back with amongst other things an old wooden wine box and an old metal tractor seat!  Don’t ask, because I am not sure, but I will let you know when I know!

I lured the LGB out of the caravan with a hearty brunch and we spent the afternoon ‘gadding about’.  We visited Le Hameau de la Brousse which I shall write about in greater depth at a later date; for now I will say, perhaps we are just art ignoramuses (ignoramusi?), but we just didn’t get it!

The LGB was not impressed with the 'art work' at Le Hameau!

  

We came away from a Medieval Jardin in Dignac with some ideas and visited the ‘office’ (Quick Burger) in Angouleme for the football scores!  We are now chilling with red wine and a gourmet feast of peanuts and twiglets!

We have been doing the other side of the roof on the kitchen/terrace this week.  I have been more involved with this roof and enjoyed it.  We have also ordered the chestnut flooring for upstairs.  We had chestnut in our last home, this time I have opted for a slightly wider board.  We are buying it direct from a small business that brings the trees in (they may even grow them) and cuts and dries them.  So we are doing our little bit for the environment by buying locally.  We did have the opportunity to buy some reclaimed oak which I would have loved (and it would have saved us some money) but it would have involved a lot more work to relay it and at this point in the build we really don’t need any extra work.

We have bought the plaster board that was on promotion at Bati LeClerc and had our final delivery of tiles, after chasing up the order; I think Fourgeaud had forgotten – again!

The highlight of the week for the LGB has been the septic tank being placed into the hole in the ground.  The lad who delivered the tiles lowered it in for us.  As soon as he left the LGB scampered away to get his spirit level and was tickled pink to find it was spot on!  He was like the cat that got the cream!

The septic tank being positioned.

The eager beaver checks the level.....

Gives the thumbs up......

Feeling all chuffed with himself!!!

The building inspectors called today (the children from next door).  They had a friend in tow and had morphed into salesmen.  The friend, Pallas (pronounced palace – Brendan says she has probably got a brother at home called Buckingham) had made a little ‘bag’ and would we like to buy it.  When I asked what the money was for they said sweets.  Very honest, they could have said the down and outs of La Rochefoucauld or some other worthy cause; but when you are a kid sweeties are a very worthy cause.  Once I had parted with my 2€ the three of them then regaled us with the history of said bag.  In fact it had been hanging around for some months and as the stains would confirm it had been used for berry picking and in fact Felix had also spilt water on it.  They were in fits of laughter telling us this.   I teased perhaps they should have told us all this before the sale.  They said the company had been called ‘Bag Bargains’ but they had changed it to ‘Bad Bargains’.  More fits of giggles (us too I have to say).  They had sold one other bag with a handle at a discount price of 2€, the same price as ours with no handle. Duped by two eight year old and a nine year old, but it was worth it for the laugh we had.

Still wielding that paint brush!  Reclaiming the front garden little by little.  Nature has been behaving itself so nothing to report there.

We have put up a wooden fascia board on the kitchen and terrace.  I painted the first coat of one side today and then washed the guttering, brackets and downpipes.  The LGB says nobody washes guttering before it goes up.  I do!  One of my little foibles, and I have many, is that I hate labels being left on things (toilets, basins, guttering, pipes etc.) so they also had to be removed.  Why don’t companies use stickers that peel off easily?

Today the LGB put the guttering up on the front and back of the house.  It was quite a mammoth task for him as he was doing it from the ladder.  This meant up and down 30 times to fix the brackets, moving the huge ladder each time, then up and down to fix the guttering and moving the ladder again.  He was absolutely exhausted by the end of the day and there wasn’t even a beer left in the fridge!  I assisted by leaning out the upstairs window and holding one end of the guttering with a broom.  We have all the mod cons to assist us you know.

Looking a little disgruntled, having to take gloves on and off after I complained he was putting dirty fingerprints on my  clean guttering!

We were too tired to even think about something to eat let alone cook it, so out came the twiglets (again) and a bottle of wine!

A Glut of Goodies

I was going to wax lyrical tonight about all sorts of things but that last glass of wine has left me unable to even conjure a coherent sentence.  Thank goodness for spell checker!  This last sentence would have read; I was ggoinh to ewax tyrical tonight about all sots of thins but thath lat glass of wine has legft me unable to ……………………………….  You get the picture!!!

Meet the neighbours.

The French neighbours have arrived next door; they are here for a fortnight in their holiday home.  We haven’t started work as early as usual, mostly so as not to disturb them but also the mornings are darker.  Monsieur came over to say hello and we gave him a tour of the site.  I then spotted his wife making her way over.  We have never spoken to her before.  

I said; ‘Ah, votre mari arrive’  (Ah, your husband is coming)

Monsieur replied ‘ No, c’est mon épouse.’ (No it’s my wife).  

Thinking he had said somebody else was coming I said,

‘No, c’est votre mari’ (No it is your husband).  

He insisted, ‘ No! Je suis le mari, elle est mon épouse.  !’ (No!  I am the husband, she is my wife!).  

I really must get to grips with this blooming language!

So, I gave the second tour of the day.   I am thinking of investing in those head phones you get in stately homes and at Stone Henge that translate everything into a language of choice.  We could charge and make a few bob for the coffers and at least the visitors would understand the ‘tour’.  However, they were suitably impressed and muttered words like; ‘tres solide’ ‘chouette’ and ‘jolie’. The LGB thought I coped very well, but I was quite exhausted and had to go for a lay down to recover from the exertion.

Wood cladding on terrace

The garden is looking clearer.

Kitchen and terrace tiled one side only!

We decided we would put wood cladding on the terrace roof to give it a tidier finish rather than just looking at the underside of the tiles.  We have completed this and tiled one side of the terrace and kitchen.  The other side is ready for tiling having been felted and double battened.  I have managed to get onto the roof and give a hand this time.  It takes me some time to get used to being up a height and I shuffle about on my bottom for a while but soon gain a little confidence.  The LGB says it is three nails per row that he doesn’t have to hammer in.  Every little helps!

Some of the lovely goodies

Fait maison par Hugh and Daphne

We have had a week of nice little offerings; vegetables and plants from neighbours and friends; coming home to find a box filled with goodies – homemade chutney, jam, a squash and a plant; a cyclist passing and shouting ‘belle maison’; friends visiting; eating out with friends and just the two of us and finally meeting another neighbour, the mother of the lovely children (the building inspectors) who also made nice comments about the house and invited us for a drink. The little gestures can bring a smile. 

I am continuing to paint a window here and there, whilst working out where the kitchen units will go so that we can get some doors made for them.

The football season has started.  I wonder how long it will be before the LGB erects the satellite dish and has the television out of wraps.  Of course he will say he is putting it together for me!  We stayed with The Old Bones On Bikes last night where we had our luxurious shower rather than the quick douche we have here and the LGB gets his teletext fix and catches up on the football news.  Most men bring their ladies a cup of coffee and a croissant in the morning; he ran up this morning empty handed to tell me Newcastle are in the same group as Bordeaux and we must try to get tickets (who says romance is dead)!

The neighbours over the road have been preparing and cutting their logs ready for the winter and many a tractor has gone by laden with logs.  We always get caught out as we never think about buying any in August when we are sweating in t-shirts and by the time the cold nights arrive we are too late and struggle to source a supply.  This year we have some ready but I’m not sure if it will be enough to see us through.  The petite voisine was on top of their log pile, it is taller than her and she jumped off like a gymnast finishing a routine on the horse.  She is in her sixties and was wearing wellies!  Amazing!

Work has been interrupted by rain and a couple of little storms and Friday we woke up to a chilly ten degrees and the fleece tops had an early airing.  The nights are drawing in and the sun is gone by 9.30 now.  The time has flown past.  All too soon the cranes will be flying off.  

In the office ................................

at Quick Burger

Not a very exciting week I'm afraid, but I had to upload something sitting here in my office, Quick Burger, waiting for friends to arrive in Angouleme.  Off for eats now, not Quick Burger I might add.

Kerb Crawlers, Compliments, and Cones

I'm all behind!  Those of you who have known me for some time will say I have always been ‘all behind’.  Sally-Anne, don’t even go there with the green trousers and the wobble!  I do not often have access to the internet lately and when I do I am under pressure to attend to all the important things.  I would love to spend more time on the blog and show you a little more of the area, but sadly it will have to wait.

Creeping Crawlers

I am wondering if something was lost in translation on my post about the sexy slugs and their amorous activity.  The kerb crawlers have increased dramatically.  The cars are driving very slowly past the site.  One car overshot the turning and mounted the grass – truly!    Are they driving past at a snail’s pace (sorry) hoping to see some slugging?  The most likely answer is they are doing exactly what the LGB and I do when we pass a site; slowing, stopping and staring.  We have also done a little sneaking around building sites too.  Large house, small bungalow, garage, shed – we don’t mind.  We like to see what materials they use, styles, designs; basically we are nosey.  Therefore, now that our grey breeze blocks resemble a house people seem to be noticing it more.

Firstly the roof is nearly complete on the main house (just some pointing to do) and the poincons are in position.  What a huge milestone!  The LGB has done wonders to work in the extreme heat with no scaffolding and no help.  Bravo!  My hero!  Secondly, the oak truss is up in the kitchen/diner.

We chose the pine cone for the top of the roof

The pine cone is a symbol of immortality

Bob and Tony came over to look at progress.  Isn’t it amazing what a vegetarian can do with the promise of a bacon butty.  I simply wafted the porcine aroma in their direction and they were putty in our hands.  So having buttered them up the LGB asked them if they would help for an hour to put the oak truss up in the kitchen.  Meanwhile, Kevin arrived with an orbital sander.  I think he had seen me sanding the oak beams with my 6€ hobby sander and took pity on me.  The smell of bacon butties had him under our spell and he helped out too!  We used up Brendan’s three months’ supply of bacon, but it was worth it.  It was all up and looking lovely when we realised the king pin was the wrong way round.  The perpetrator said we had better not tell anyone what he had done, so my lips are sealed Your Royal Harveyness!  Thank you boys!

Here she comes!

Pat on the back lads - we've done it!

Quick undo it before the LGB sees us!

Get the professionals in to finish the job properly!!

Ah - there's lovely

A masterpiece of engineering!  Beautiful!

O.A.K

I am thrilled to bits, chuffed and delighted with the oak truss; it looks absolutely stunning.  It was one of the biggest highlights of the build so far.  I have mentioned before how much we both love wood, the smell, the touch and how beautiful it looks and oak is probably one of my favourite woods. 

However, it was a bittersweet day.  I couldn’t reach my sister to wish her a ‘happy birthday’ because she was in hospital with my lovely nephew Oliver, 12, who had been diagnosed with meningcoccus.  It was a fraught wait for blood tests but thankfully it had been caught in time.  It made me think how things can change in a heartbeat.  (Julie and family will know exactly how it feels.)  Things that seem a problem or important suddenly pale into insignificance. Coincidentally, Oliver’s initials are OAK and when he was a baby I used to say that the little acorn would grow into a big strong oak.  Get well Ollie; you will soon be kicking a football around again. Every time I look at my beautiful oak truss I can think of you! Xxx 

Compliment????

I think I received a compliment this week, or a back handed compliment, or a slap in the chops, I’m not sure which.  When all the ‘boys’ (I use that term lightly as I am sure when the average age is three score he really is no longer classed a boy) were here I passed a breeze block up quite a height to one of them and the person later told his wife I was a ‘strong old bird’.  Now to me this conjured up an image of Fatima Whitbread meets Giant Haystack crossed with a broiler chicken.   I won’t embarrass him by naming him but he spoke with a Welsh accent! 

I would live with those legs for a stomach like that.  

Let's show the 3 stooges how it's really done!

Et Voila!

Mick helped us put the terrace truss up; and pretty fabulous that looks too!  I can say that about our house can’t I?  I don’t mean to sound boastful, I am just excited that it is all coming together.

The LGB has side-tracked to dig a huge hole for the septic tank.  There is a reason for randomly leaving the roofs and starting this.  Daisy the digger cannot lift the tank which is a 4000 litre concrete box.  Therefore, when we order the extra tiles that we need to finish the roofs we will ask the driver to lower the tank into the hole and hope he will accommodate us.

I am still working my way through the windows.  There was too much dust flying around when the LGB was digging so I had a little respite from painting, but I will have to make a huge effort because putting the windows in will be one of the next jobs.

Kitchen and Terrace

Thank you again to all of you who are feeding and watering us, giving us a bed once a week for a good night’s sleep, a nice relaxing shower with no fear of unexpected visitors, doing some laundry and of course giving a hand.  You know who you are and you’re all little stars.

Frisky Slugs, Feeling Blue and Finials

Permanent Wave

I don’t know who they are but they keep waving.  We are risking life and limb here waving back at them.  Well, the LGB is risking life because he is atop the roof and has to let go of the rope to wave and whilst I’m not actually risking a limb to wave back there is the chance that I could take an eye out with this paintbrush.  And they have already driven past six times today and waved each time and now my arm is aching and I’ve got paint splashes all over the place. Actually we love it.   

‘Who’s that who just waved?’

‘I’ve no idea.’                                                                                                      
 'Who's that then?’                                            

‘Isn’t she the Irish lady who introduced herself last year?’       

‘I think you’re right.’                                                

‘Who's in that tractor?’                                                     

‘Is it the one that has the red car with the three legged dog?’ 

‘Oh, maybe.’                                                         

‘Why are you waving to him?’                                         

‘Just in case we know him.’                                                  

‘But he’s a UPS delivery driver!’    

The LGB adding finishing touches to the roof

 The LGB continues to lay and point the ridge tiles in high temperatures.  It was still 30 degrees in the sun when he finished at nine o’clock tonight.  (He is currently talking to a moth that has got into the caravan, explaining why he has to swat and kill it!  I think the sun has got to him, poor thing - the LGB not the moth!  I hope the sun has got to him and he has not decided he gets a better conversation from a moth than from me!)

The finials are in place

     

Feeling Blue

No sorry, the colour is just not doing it for me.  The one colour I did not want for the windows and shutters was blue.   Specifically Charentais blue, but blue all the same, so why did I choose blue?  Because I thought it was grey blue.  But it is blue and now I’m blue.

I have decided to simply undercoat the windows and ponder the final colour at leisure.  Maybe by the time I make a decision the undercoat will have a lovely aged, crumbly, flaky look (sounds like an ad for a chocolate bar), looking like it’s been there a hundred years.  Perfect!  The pot of Pebble Drift paint previously purchased will have to be used on garden benches and chairs and anything else that looks in need of a lick of blue paint.  So don’t stand still around me for too long.

Jobs Worth

As you know I have a bit of a fetish for interior design magazines, in fact I bought two yesterday that I already have!  On the rare occasions I have access to the internet I have become a bit of a blog stalker.  They are my on-line magazines.  They don’t take up any room, I don’t have to hide them from the LGB and best of all I get to have a little nosey into other people’s houses.  I laughed out loud when I read one such blog where the American blogger referred to her ‘wallpaper installer’!  How posh is that!!  Whatever happened to the good old ‘decorator’?  I am at present working as a ‘paint applicatrice’ (I just made that up).  Suddenly with a job title like that painting 24 windows and doors doesn’t seem such a chore.  Loving it!

Next Night

Ignore the last two sentences.  I have under-coated five window frames and four and a half windows (half means just one side of a window).  That has taken me a day to complete and that is a 9 pm, twenty one hundred hour finish.  If the LGB had let me have UPVC windows I wouldn’t be feeling like I was drowning under a sea of frames and windows.  I know, I know it’s in black and white, I have libelled myself, I confess it was me who wanted wooden windows.

I actually enjoy painting, I find it quite therapeutic.  However, sadly I am allergic to paint brushes.  Well not exactly the paint brushes but the cleaning of the paint brushes.  If I won the lottery I would throw each paint brush away after use.  Come to think of it, I haven’t won the lottery and that is what I do anyway.  I don’t mean to.  I wrap them in cling film with the good intention of using them again but when I get round to using them they have gone hard so I just throw them away.  The LGB buys a nice set that he says are ‘his’ and I mustn’t use them, but of course I do and then I have to sneak them into the bin when they are hard and beyond any usefulness as a brush.  Unfortunately, he usually finds them in their cling film wrapped – ‘I promise I will use you again soon’ state and he just puts them in the bin with a sad little face and a ‘what’s the use telling her off she’s not going to change now’ expression. J

Closed Shop

Today was an absolute scorcher.  The LGB made an early start but had to call it a day early afternoon.  We went in search of chestnut flooring for upstairs.  We didn’t have much success as, unlike the mad-dogs and Englishmen, most of the French population have shut up shop and are sunning themselves on golden beaches.  They really do literally put a sign up to say they are on holiday for two or three weeks (congé) .  They do not seem fearful that their customers will take their business elsewhere.  I admire them for that.  The nearest we could come to joining them was a cold beer, some people watching and free entertainment from a rock band in Angouleme.   It was still 33 degrees in La Rochefoucauld at 9 pm.

Can you believe the mess an ants nest makes?

Lots of sanding before they could be put in place

We are preparing to put the oak trusses in the kitchen/diner.  The beautiful beams have been stored under a sheet and alas have some water damage and once again the ants have been nest building and have made a dreadful mess of some of the lovely oak beams.  It now involves a lot of time and effort to sand and clean them up ready for use.  I am also treating them with an insecticide and applying a colourless varnish for protection in case it rains before we can get the roof on.  Did you notice I said ‘we’?  I can help tile this roof as it is only one story.

A Sluggish Night

The LGB and I sat down last night to enjoy a well-earned glass of wine and a spot of relaxation.  I should have known it wouldn’t be what we were hoping for when my glass of rosé would have been better described as vinegar and his red vino wasn’t much better.  Well, what would you expect at 50 centimes a bottle.  Not really!  The LGB paid over 5€ for his.  I threw mine away, but he has never been one to give up easily on a glass of wine however rancid.  

Brendan caught sight inches behind our heads of a most extraordinary spectacle, we thought the bad wine had given us hallucinations.  We both leapt from the seat and crept forward to get a better look at what I first thought was a little snake coiled up.

I ran for the camera and he moved the sofa.  We spent the next ten minutes in blatant voyeurism watching two slugs unashamedly copulating whilst hanging from some kind of slimy snotty stuff.  I am sure a biologist would have been enthralled.  Apparently it is called apophallation but I am not going into the details of this because you may be eating your breakfast or tea.  It was eerily mesmerising but also rather disgusting; like something from Alien.  I will let the photos speak for themselves.  We let them finish their business and the LGB dislodged them with a slurp and evicted them from the awning with a caution for lewd conduct and a public disorder offence. 

Look away now if you are of a nervous disposition.

In flagrante delicto

Sperm is exchanged through their protruded genitalia 

 Apophallation allows the slugs to separate themselves by one or both of the slugs chewing off the other's penis - nice!

All done!

Here endeth your biology lesson.

We have made more progress on the build but it is getting late so it will have to wait until next time.